Bertus - amazing. this holds so much meaning for me this morning. I feel like it was written just for me. (narcissistic much lol) I have been deeply grappling with 'home' and with death/endings. The theme of what and where is home, and leaving home, new home and cleaning out other people's homes, has been a constant thread in my physical life for the past two years and now I contemplate letting go of all concept of home, of spreading wings and taking flight, and having no home. Last night I dream of finding a damaged butterfly, who cant fly, and I have to find the nectar to feed her, to set her free...But I realise that it does not have to be either/or - finding the inbetween is the ticket.
"You have two brains. One thinks it’s home, the other knows it is not. One is asleep, the other realizes it is dreaming. And sometimes... a child is born."
So special. Also last night we watched a movie together, and it was about the birth of a child. A movie we are suckers for and have seen many times, called Knocked Up. There were tears after - we knew that it was the greatest gift of life that we got to birth a child into this world. It was a miracle, every birth, not matter how mundane, is a miracle.
And this elusive home that you speak so well of here:
"When you were pushed violently out of your mother’s womb, you left home for the first time. So... you know, you’ve been there. We all know on some level, but we forgot. A lot has happened since. And you’ve never returned. We have that in common. All the living are no longer home. How’s that for unsettling?
Well yes - it is always out of reach. I think of that expression from Ram Das, ‘we are all just walking each other home’. Trying to find it. Trying to come home again at last. And yet always trying to be free?
So I have just read the whole piece again, I feel like it is a treasure map to carry with me. Thank you so much Bertus - your pen has dipped into the ink well of life and is dripping with wisdom! (that's me trying to be poetic too ;-)
So good to get this reply from you…(and I read the unedited long one), spend several days wondering what to say and nothing came….just gratitude…thank you…
Wow, Bertus! I'm going to print this one out and carry it with me! ♥️♥️♥️ Years ago, I had what I've been calling a goddess appear to me and tell me "see the third pillar, be the third pillar". It was almost comical, sounding like a movie quote. But I have been a student of tension and relationship ever since. In your brilliance, you put to words what I have been trying to understand since that day. Thank you!
I'm held in the tension between your two magnificent brains where opposites coexist, where a kingdom of grey is ok. Thank you. And a hearty yes to this: "It can slap you in the face and cuddle you. Some great works do both at the same time."
Hey Kimberly, every now and then some connection is made here that feels very real and significant. Substack is good at that. Just read several of your posts and subscribed back. You say things out loud that I struggle to find words for…such a different experience and still so very similar….glad to meet you here….
I've just been reading a couple of your posts and... similarities abound, it seems :-) Always a pleasure to find other incompatible mavericks ;-) (and I looooove the Sun card you published with your 'Incompatible' post! Beautiful artwork, powerful imagery. (Did you create the whole major Arcana, or even an entire deck? If so: I'd love to see more of it!)
I loved this Bertus! My journey has come to this hanging out around the edges. The liminality of the opposites, paradoxes. Witnessing this "child" being born. An amazing experience to see & feel this beauty and at times the challenge of one plus one equals three!
Thank you Julie...read a few of your posts and see why Jenna suggested a connection... walking the liminal, never called it that but it sure is the case with me me too....
Thanks Skye, good to hear your voice here too…sometimes while writing I can literally hear you nudging me back to feeling and experiencing and away from analysis….
Bertus - amazing. this holds so much meaning for me this morning. I feel like it was written just for me. (narcissistic much lol) I have been deeply grappling with 'home' and with death/endings. The theme of what and where is home, and leaving home, new home and cleaning out other people's homes, has been a constant thread in my physical life for the past two years and now I contemplate letting go of all concept of home, of spreading wings and taking flight, and having no home. Last night I dream of finding a damaged butterfly, who cant fly, and I have to find the nectar to feed her, to set her free...But I realise that it does not have to be either/or - finding the inbetween is the ticket.
"You have two brains. One thinks it’s home, the other knows it is not. One is asleep, the other realizes it is dreaming. And sometimes... a child is born."
So special. Also last night we watched a movie together, and it was about the birth of a child. A movie we are suckers for and have seen many times, called Knocked Up. There were tears after - we knew that it was the greatest gift of life that we got to birth a child into this world. It was a miracle, every birth, not matter how mundane, is a miracle.
And this elusive home that you speak so well of here:
"When you were pushed violently out of your mother’s womb, you left home for the first time. So... you know, you’ve been there. We all know on some level, but we forgot. A lot has happened since. And you’ve never returned. We have that in common. All the living are no longer home. How’s that for unsettling?
Well yes - it is always out of reach. I think of that expression from Ram Das, ‘we are all just walking each other home’. Trying to find it. Trying to come home again at last. And yet always trying to be free?
So I have just read the whole piece again, I feel like it is a treasure map to carry with me. Thank you so much Bertus - your pen has dipped into the ink well of life and is dripping with wisdom! (that's me trying to be poetic too ;-)
So good to get this reply from you…(and I read the unedited long one), spend several days wondering what to say and nothing came….just gratitude…thank you…
Kept thinking of a song.
Tina Malia ‘Walking Home’
https://spotify.link/UjFlvXW4SDb
This song is a gift too! I listened to it last night before bed. No more words needed, just this connection which is very real. Rxx
Wow, Bertus! I'm going to print this one out and carry it with me! ♥️♥️♥️ Years ago, I had what I've been calling a goddess appear to me and tell me "see the third pillar, be the third pillar". It was almost comical, sounding like a movie quote. But I have been a student of tension and relationship ever since. In your brilliance, you put to words what I have been trying to understand since that day. Thank you!
Oh I love that, "the third pillar"!
I'm held in the tension between your two magnificent brains where opposites coexist, where a kingdom of grey is ok. Thank you. And a hearty yes to this: "It can slap you in the face and cuddle you. Some great works do both at the same time."
Hey Kimberly, every now and then some connection is made here that feels very real and significant. Substack is good at that. Just read several of your posts and subscribed back. You say things out loud that I struggle to find words for…such a different experience and still so very similar….glad to meet you here….
Splendid. Love your approach to putting 'the invisible incorporeal unnameable' into words. Bravo, fellow traveler. :-)
Just subscribed back after reading your introduction post....so many similar vibes....
I've just been reading a couple of your posts and... similarities abound, it seems :-) Always a pleasure to find other incompatible mavericks ;-) (and I looooove the Sun card you published with your 'Incompatible' post! Beautiful artwork, powerful imagery. (Did you create the whole major Arcana, or even an entire deck? If so: I'd love to see more of it!)
Well, thank you. I did the whole major arcana and they pop up in several posts here....
The how and what is in this one: https://open.substack.com/pub/bertus/p/drawing-you?r=fcm5o&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I loved this Bertus! My journey has come to this hanging out around the edges. The liminality of the opposites, paradoxes. Witnessing this "child" being born. An amazing experience to see & feel this beauty and at times the challenge of one plus one equals three!
Thank you Julie...read a few of your posts and see why Jenna suggested a connection... walking the liminal, never called it that but it sure is the case with me me too....
“This body is yours, your beloved home and it is the most alien thing you’ve ever encountered. “
This part spoke to me the most!
I really enjoyed the article
Thanks
Love the 1+1=3 and inbetween is the living processing of "becoming" always available as we choose again and again. Thank you keep going
Thanks Skye, good to hear your voice here too…sometimes while writing I can literally hear you nudging me back to feeling and experiencing and away from analysis….