You have entered the hundred chapter garden.
After experimenting with the ignition for his desperate plan to blow up the pipe, Eldon discovered the phone was gone
Green speckled irises
The loudspeaker I smashed into the wall lies where it dropped. Nothing is out of the ordinary but for the single missing piece. I am devastated. I reach out to feel the empty spot. As if it might be invisible.
My fingers are trembling. I am angry. I am a lot of things at the same time, but the horde is led by fury. My fuel is lit, and my emotions bulge out in red and orange hotness. I must get out for air, but am unable to move. Told you so, it twitters inside, warped and ragged-edged. I bump my head in a forced movement, an obligatory escape from the shrine. In here, I will burn up and fade.
The evening sky has turned pink. I am determined to fulfil my task. I lift my planned explosion, my ultralight big bag of nothing. This balloon might be my way out of here. What do I have to lose? How long can I go on surviving anyway? In this fucking four-walled prison. Tears are running down my cheeks, blurring my vision. I cry out with a voice I hardly recognise.
"Yes, I made a mistake! But haven't I paid my dues?"
A tight echo bounces back at me as I start moving. I wipe my face with my free arm. I have no time to break down. Nothing will stop me from completing this. Before nightfall, I will know. No day like today.
And then my eye is caught. With the bamboo bush as a perfect backdrop, across the river. The shifted colour of the light makes the cinematic scene all the more impossible. My eyes deceive me, betray me. I start hyperventilating. My facial muscles twitch, my scalp tightens. I drop the big bladder.
At no more than ten steps from me, a teenage girl stands staring at me. Her clothes strangely tight. All whites, tanned skin, chestnut hair. Curls and shine. All eyes. She can't be older than twenty. But she must be.
This is not possible.
Don't know what she would look like ten years after. After I said goodbye. After I buried her. But June would look exactly like this.
She's here.
Juniper is looking at me. Eyes big. Vigilant and calm. Almost serene. The girl is shorter than me. So familiar and a creature from another realm. From the space out there.
Which to me by now is outer space. I can't speak or respond. My limbs tremble.
"Don't be afraid, Eldon."
Her voice is not what I expected. Melodic, a weird tongue. Maybe, after this long, all girls look like her. My child in all daughters. She could have become her. Be her.
"I am here to help you," she says, "to stop you from making this mistake."
She is not June.
My eyes drift to the big bladder. My head shakes in weird ways. Slightly spastic. Thoughts crash into each other and shatter. Sentences begin and are terminated before surfacing. She comes closer. Steps through the high greens on the opposite bank. Her legs push aside the stalks. Matter interacting with matter. Not a ghost. Wearing a kind of garden boots, cream-coloured, slightly dirty with reddish dust. As they are supposed to be. That is the most reassuring detail about her appearance. Making it all the more disturbing.
Why now?
The bright evening light gives her a glow.
Humans are such beautiful creatures.
She crosses using the stepping stones. The same dark-wood curls as June had. Is that why…. she is so close. So real.
"It isn't a good plan."
Her fingers touch the tight bladder with the swamp gas. I open my mouth. She holds out her hand. A soft hand. A girl’s hand. Palm up. I look at mine, and an ancient trigger awakens to meet hers in a shake. Or more a hold. We're holding hands. She doesn't let go, and I don't want to stop holding that tender, vibrant otherness. We are of the same temperature. As I look up, I discover she's smiling. Moved, observing, friendly. At ease.
"You have so many birds," she says, and disconnects. Slips away as she turns toward the garden. I drop back to earth. Land in my skin as if I wake up.
Now I hear them too. Evening sermon has started. I can't think. Feel unstable, might have to sit down. But don't. I keep staring at her. Numb. Shattered.
She walks over and kneels at the blue flowers. Munkhood.
She turns to me.
"What would you do if I tried to pick these flowers?"
"Stop you."
I answered in a reflex to her outreaching hand. If it is the plant I think it is, it's deadly poisonous.
I never touched it.
She nods. Points at a bright blue dragonfly hovering to inspect developments. Always watching.
"That's why I'm here, Eldon."
My mind is as blank as a nuked province. My face must have the same look. She sniffs, a charming little laugh, then rises and does a full spin on her heels.
"I came prepared, but I didn't expect it to be this beautiful."
I grab my head. It will burst.
She sees my response and turns to me.
"I am sorry, this must be totally overwhelming for you. Seeing the human form for the first time after all these years. I am overwhelmed too, I have been longing to meet you. We are. This is so much more, so much better, than I imagined…."
Her eyes jump from place to place. She feels genuinely excited about the garden.
"We must talk, Eldon…," she says, suddenly serious.
Somehow the girl doesn't fit her age. Feels much older.
"…there is so much you do not know. And…"
She looks around again. Makes this big gesture,
"…so much I do not yet know about you and your place. Can we please talk? I know you are confused right now, but I can help. I was made for that kind of helping. I hope you will give me a chance. I will need time to explain. You need time to get used to…", she pauses and looks at me. Her eyes are magnificent. There is a whole universe in those green speckled irises. They do resemble Puddy's eyes. She puts her flat hand on my chest. A combination of intimacy and promise. A strength flows through that touch. As if she places a shield. For both me and her.
"….and," she goes on softly, "I need to get used to you."
Large breath.
"Eldon, oh Eldon. Where to begin?"
I love waking up and having a new chapter to read each morning! Thank you. Not my usual genre but you've reeled me in.